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LJ therapy


Tell me a secret.

Get something off your chest. The only condition is that it must be true.

Post it anonymously, if you wish..

In fair exchange, one of the comments will be my own.

Comments

( 72 comments — Leave a comment )
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ellechero
Nov. 22nd, 2005 06:54 pm (UTC)
I'd like to approach more people than I do but I always assume I'll make an ass of myself.
skoptzygrrl
Nov. 22nd, 2005 07:33 pm (UTC)
i am not in love - although i purport to be.
viruswshoes
Nov. 22nd, 2005 07:43 pm (UTC)
I'm afraid of losing all of my friends at work - not to mention my job - if I tell anyone I have a girlfriend.
devineone
Nov. 24th, 2005 10:03 am (UTC)
I had a feeling you might be seeing a woman.. but I didn't want to pry so I never asked you about it. Good for you! As long as you are happy, I'm happy as hell for you, sweetie.

If your friends desert you because of this, they obviously weren't true friends in the first place.. cuz real friendship isn't based on such trivial things.

The job thing might be an issue.. even though it is illegal for them to fire you because of this.. but people still get away with it all the time.. *sigh*
(no subject) - viruswshoes - Nov. 24th, 2005 03:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
riotgrrlscout
Nov. 22nd, 2005 07:44 pm (UTC)
I'm afraid that if I try to go to grad school I'll wash out and embarrass the people I want to be proud of me.
devineone
Dec. 1st, 2005 12:28 pm (UTC)
I have faith in you..

Go for it! ♥
(Anonymous)
Nov. 22nd, 2005 07:48 pm (UTC)
chaotic worship
blinded in darkness
manipulated hope
my inner child weeps
longing for a change
something outside of myself
to hold
something neutral
someone to complete me
flashes of broken memories
the past still consumes
wanting to let go
wanting to free my soul
healing petals
cannnot be released
these ghosts still remain
watching my every step
beyond recognition
shadows lurking
unaware that I'm fading fast
lost among my path
realizing I have reached
the end
(Anonymous)
Nov. 23rd, 2005 02:14 am (UTC)
Re: chaotic worship
cop out!
Re: chaotic worship - (Anonymous) - Nov. 23rd, 2005 09:02 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
devineone
Dec. 1st, 2005 12:29 pm (UTC)
Cool site.

I get social anxiety now for some reason.. and I can't figure out where exactly it came from. I used to be such a social butterfly..
coffegrl
Nov. 22nd, 2005 08:51 pm (UTC)
I suffer from social anxiety. In fact, it gets so bad that I hesitate to call people that I have known for years because I worry that it is a bad time and I am inconveniencing who ever I am calling.
devineone
Nov. 22nd, 2005 09:12 pm (UTC)
Wow..
I have been feeling the *exact* same way that you just described. :(

I wonder what causes it..
Re: Wow.. - rowan61 - Nov. 22nd, 2005 09:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Nov. 22nd, 2005 09:33 pm (UTC)
Even though I try to act like it is AWESOME being single, I'm really deathly lonely. Being single f'n sucks.

And I have no friends.
(Anonymous)
Nov. 22nd, 2005 10:02 pm (UTC)
Most of the time I just nod my head in agreement with peers. I feel that even with two college degrees, I don't "know" anything.
(Anonymous)
Nov. 22nd, 2005 10:18 pm (UTC)
There was nothing I could do or say to keep my eternal soul mate here by my side. I can only wish our paths cross once again, as for now, my heart is empty with unrequitted sadness towards the future.
devineone
Nov. 22nd, 2005 10:21 pm (UTC)
Wow. :(

hmmm.. I wonder who you are..
newviolation
Nov. 22nd, 2005 10:37 pm (UTC)
i like to love hard, cum hard and worship my woman like a goddess. all the while as i go about acting strong and being independent, sometimes the pain of seperation is so much that i would rather carve my heart and lungs out of my chest with a knife so i would not have to breathe another breath and feel that way. currently i struggle with being single because i am afraid of 'giving it all' to the wrong person, like i have done in the past.
devineone
Nov. 24th, 2005 10:00 am (UTC)
You just took the words right out of my head and posted them..

Thank you.
(Anonymous)
Nov. 22nd, 2005 11:20 pm (UTC)
everything I do is wrapped up in my weight and my looks and at times I feel like killing myself because of it
devineone
Nov. 23rd, 2005 10:03 pm (UTC)
I know exactly how you feel.. ever since I had the baby I have been pretty disappointed in my body and how I look. I know that it's only temporary but it still bothers me. The good thing is that I have a beautiful baby to show for it. But being pressured to look good and be in shape really hurts.
(no subject) - doomfrog - Nov. 24th, 2005 12:05 am (UTC) - Expand
ziggy_stardust
Nov. 23rd, 2005 01:55 am (UTC)
I've begun questioning whether everything I've done over the past 2 years is a mistake or not.
devineone
Nov. 23rd, 2005 12:17 pm (UTC)
haha, me too..
delirium8413
Nov. 23rd, 2005 02:28 am (UTC)
I'm too fucked up to do this quiz right now. (and no not in a fun achool induced way) Dizzy_Orgy=Me
crazo
Nov. 23rd, 2005 02:48 am (UTC)
I'll bet nobody knew this......my great big excuse for my fucked up life...........................I just wanted a wife of my own. And once I realized that I was doomned into being the party brat/fuck buddie/drunken goth mascot/... I couldn't breathe anymore. Pathetic I am...fuck it!
. ...Thus I stopped goth'n it up, stopped looking sexy for the girlies, stopped fucking, even cut back on drinking ....and went head on with hard drugs!!!! Yeah!!! I FUCKING HATE MYSELF MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE EVER CAN!!!!! Whoooo-hoooo!

ashisreet
Nov. 23rd, 2005 03:36 am (UTC)
I like to hear women cry.
devineone
Nov. 23rd, 2005 10:04 pm (UTC)
That kinda scares me on so many levels..
(Anonymous)
Nov. 23rd, 2005 04:36 am (UTC)
I consider myself a failure because I have a college degree I'm not using, have a job that is a great career opportunity but I have no interest in making a career of it, and I fear I will forever be living paycheck-to-paycheck. Basically, I think I am a great disappointment to my parents.
ingenuelle
Nov. 23rd, 2005 07:08 am (UTC)
I swear I didn't write this... but... ditto. 100%.
(no subject) - oleanderapathy - Nov. 23rd, 2005 09:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Nov. 23rd, 2005 12:13 pm (UTC)
i'm in love with you and i've watched you slowly wreck your life for several years. i'm glad you have kai now, because he seems to be bringing you up. oh, and i've told you this, but you always laugh at me.
devineone
Nov. 23rd, 2005 12:16 pm (UTC)
I don't think that I have "wrecked" my life..

I have made mistakes, yes, but doesn't everyone?

Life is full of trials and tribulations and challenges..

We all have them. And no-one is perfect.

Why would I laugh at you? If I laughed when you say something like that it's because it seemed like a playful statement instead of a serious one..

Any clues to who you are?
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Nov. 23rd, 2005 06:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - devineone - Nov. 23rd, 2005 06:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Nov. 23rd, 2005 07:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - devineone - Nov. 23rd, 2005 07:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - rageoptics - Dec. 28th, 2005 08:29 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Nov. 24th, 2005 12:13 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - devineone - Nov. 24th, 2005 09:24 am (UTC) - Expand
thegameny2002
Nov. 23rd, 2005 04:39 pm (UTC)
Its no secret how much i love you

its no secret i been in love with you for the longest time

its no secret i love kai as much as i love you

but do you know that i would give anything to have you here in NY?

do you have any idea how much i truely care?

prob not, or perhaps you do

i love you so very much!
(Anonymous)
Nov. 23rd, 2005 08:45 pm (UTC)
You know very well why I can't post as myself.
The devil needs no introduction.

Why did you feel the need to falsify everything about me? I never wanted to be you. If anything I tried my hardest to be nothing like you. You wanted the limelight not me. All I did was leave because I couldn’t stand the fact you would lie to me. Me, someone you claimed to mean so much to you, you felt the dire need to be dishonest to me when I can see right through you. I’ve never claimed to hate you nor to wish you harm and yet you did unto to me.

You know why I’ve lashed out on you. You can’t blame me for that.

Secret – Sometimes I miss you.
devineone
Nov. 23rd, 2005 09:59 pm (UTC)
Re: You know very well why I can't post as myself.
No.. I don't know why you lashed out on me, because you never talked to me about it. You just walked away. And to me that is unbelievable.. especially considering how close we were. We should have been able to talk about anything. It makes me sad that you felt as if you couldn't talk to me.. and that is mostly my fault. But all I can do is move on with my life and learn from my mistakes. I can't change the past.

On the contrary, you *have* claimed to hate me, you have talked to people badly about me, and you obviously still read my journal although you claim to not care about me at all. Why is that?

I knew you better than anyone. I will always regret letting you down and making you feel as if you couldn't be my friend. I will always regret the selfish lost phase I was in a few years ago when I let down and deeply hurt my best friend and myself.

But the thing that hurts the most is that you showed no perserverance.. you didn't stick with me through that time and you didn't talk to me about what you were feeling, then you went around telling everyone terrible things about me and comitted many behaviors and actions just to hurt me or make me jealous. You acted proud that you were the one who left me, when it wasn't even about that. True friendship should last through anything.. through hard times and selfishness and addictions and confusion about life. I guess I'm just sorry you felt like ours wasn't worth keeping.

I don't wish any harm upon you. I wish for you to be happy and have true love and spiritual fullness in your life. I hope that you find yourself and heal inside and find whatever it is that you have been looking for. I will always have love for you, you have a special place in my heart.

By the way.. you could have posted a comment as yourself. I knew who this was right away. I had a feeling you might see this post somehow..
Re: You know very well why I can't post as myself. - (Anonymous) - Nov. 23rd, 2005 11:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: You know very well why I can't post as myself. - (Anonymous) - Nov. 24th, 2005 04:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
psychobitchnm22
Nov. 23rd, 2005 09:40 pm (UTC)
secret....
hmmm... I have told you some in person... mostly funny some not so... all I can say is that no mater how hard life is you always have my sholder to cry on.... I am always a good listener... I know many things about you and I hold them secret for you... as I will do so for the rest of my life... I miss hanging out with you and I hope to do so soon...

Secret: I am scared of looseing more of my friends... *i.e* Passing away at 23...
(Anonymous)
Nov. 25th, 2005 01:04 am (UTC)
Despite all of the things I've achieved in life, I still have virtually no belief or confidence in myself. It's fucked up but true. Nobody believed in me growing up and I've had to learn to fake it so well that sometimes I can even convince myself that I have confidence. But I really don't.
(Anonymous)
Nov. 28th, 2005 06:55 pm (UTC)
I have a crush on my best friend but she is in a relationship.
glamnation
Nov. 30th, 2005 12:22 am (UTC)
I'm not going to post this anonymously. Fuck that.

I'm one of the girls that would take razors down her arm. I did it out of control at some points and now have been left with a few scars that won't fade away for a long time on my left leg. I keep saying that I'll never do it again. But I can't get rid of those razorblades. I can't make myself throw them away and pretend that I never did cut. That I never want to, even still sometimes.

And I cut because of something I can never be. I'd give anything to feel a moment of vanity, of beauty. Yet, I know it's not for me. So I instead, decide maybe to be as ugly as I can be. I don't know.

/sob story.
satanic___bitch
Dec. 13th, 2005 07:05 pm (UTC)
I form crushes on men and women who are otherwise unobtainable. I like treating those who don't deserve my attention like shit. I can't stand my younger sister, and I've thought at times of just out and ouy savagely beating her. I have a severe anger problem, and hate knowing that instead of letting my anger go on someone else, I'd rather take it all out on myself. Most of all, I hate what I do to myself, yet cannot stop myself from doing self-destructive behaviors.
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( 72 comments — Leave a comment )