I'd like to approach more people than I do but I always assume I'll make an ass of myself.

i am not in love - although i purport to be.

I'm afraid of losing all of my friends at work - not to mention my job - if I tell anyone I have a girlfriend.

I'm afraid that if I try to go to grad school I'll wash out and embarrass the people I want to be proud of me.

blinded in darkness
manipulated hope
my inner child weeps
longing for a change
something outside of myself
to hold
something neutral
someone to complete me
flashes of broken memories
the past still consumes
wanting to let go
wanting to free my soul
healing petals
cannnot be released
these ghosts still remain
watching my every step
beyond recognition
shadows lurking
unaware that I'm fading fast
lost among my path
realizing I have reached
the end

I suffer from social anxiety. In fact, it gets so bad that I hesitate to call people that I have known for years because I worry that it is a bad time and I am inconveniencing who ever I am calling.

Even though I try to act like it is AWESOME being single, I'm really deathly lonely. Being single f'n sucks.

And I have no friends.

Most of the time I just nod my head in agreement with peers. I feel that even with two college degrees, I don't "know" anything.

People always tell me what a great mother I am, and I don't really feel it. I'm really scared I'm screwing my kid up. :(

Life is awesome without you!

But I do in fact miss you. Maybe, in another dimension its even more awesome or even worse if you were around.

Who knows.

Just wish you'd be more honest with yourself.

There was nothing I could do or say to keep my eternal soul mate here by my side. I can only wish our paths cross once again, as for now, my heart is empty with unrequitted sadness towards the future.

i like to love hard, cum hard and worship my woman like a goddess. all the while as i go about acting strong and being independent, sometimes the pain of seperation is so much that i would rather carve my heart and lungs out of my chest with a knife so i would not have to breathe another breath and feel that way. currently i struggle with being single because i am afraid of 'giving it all' to the wrong person, like i have done in the past.

everything I do is wrapped up in my weight and my looks and at times I feel like killing myself because of it

I've begun questioning whether everything I've done over the past 2 years is a mistake or not.

I'm too fucked up to do this quiz right now. (and no not in a fun achool induced way) Dizzy_Orgy=Me

I'll bet nobody knew this......my great big excuse for my fucked up life...........................I just wanted a wife of my own. And once I realized that I was doomned into being the party brat/fuck buddie/drunken goth mascot/... I couldn't breathe anymore. Pathetic I am...fuck it!
. ...Thus I stopped goth'n it up, stopped looking sexy for the girlies, stopped fucking, even cut back on drinking ....and went head on with hard drugs!!!! Yeah!!! I FUCKING HATE MYSELF MORE THAN ANYBODY ELSE EVER CAN!!!!! Whoooo-hoooo!

I like to hear women cry.

I consider myself a failure because I have a college degree I'm not using, have a job that is a great career opportunity but I have no interest in making a career of it, and I fear I will forever be living paycheck-to-paycheck. Basically, I think I am a great disappointment to my parents.

i'm in love with you and i've watched you slowly wreck your life for several years. i'm glad you have kai now, because he seems to be bringing you up. oh, and i've told you this, but you always laugh at me.

Its no secret how much i love you

its no secret i been in love with you for the longest time

its no secret i love kai as much as i love you

but do you know that i would give anything to have you here in NY?

do you have any idea how much i truely care?

prob not, or perhaps you do

i love you so very much!

The devil needs no introduction.

Why did you feel the need to falsify everything about me? I never wanted to be you. If anything I tried my hardest to be nothing like you. You wanted the limelight not me. All I did was leave because I couldn’t stand the fact you would lie to me. Me, someone you claimed to mean so much to you, you felt the dire need to be dishonest to me when I can see right through you. I’ve never claimed to hate you nor to wish you harm and yet you did unto to me.

You know why I’ve lashed out on you. You can’t blame me for that.

Secret – Sometimes I miss you.

hmmm... I have told you some in person... mostly funny some not so... all I can say is that no mater how hard life is you always have my sholder to cry on.... I am always a good listener... I know many things about you and I hold them secret for you... as I will do so for the rest of my life... I miss hanging out with you and I hope to do so soon...

Secret: I am scared of looseing more of my friends... *i.e* Passing away at 23...

Despite all of the things I've achieved in life, I still have virtually no belief or confidence in myself. It's fucked up but true. Nobody believed in me growing up and I've had to learn to fake it so well that sometimes I can even convince myself that I have confidence. But I really don't.

I have a crush on my best friend but she is in a relationship.